wishes

broken glass scattered on the floor,
i tried to bring you back,
to let you live,
to make you mine,
how hard can you be?

the night i gave away kisses,
and lifelong wishes,
and i can only reminisce how you made me smile.
how i tried to grip for that minute hope,
that somehow the ache you carry would be wiped out.
and that i can see that unpretentious smile once more.

i didn't hear the music,
i didn't hear your laugh,
when will you see that you are all that i need?

i wish she knows,how lucky she is, she has your heart.

behind the masked smile, i cry silently,
the moon and stars, my confidante.

i wish you were mine.

i wish i could live a thousand years or more,
until i can give away the melodies of my soul,
until your ears are no longer closed.
and you'll hear the story of a love that died before it sprung to life.

i wish you knew.
how i tried to call out to you.

clean cut bruises,
all out cruises,
i never made it out whole.

firecrackers,
love birds chatter,
i still cry for you.

the night arrives,
and again,



i start to wish.

crumpled.

I'm letting the music slide once again,
I'll let the world see who i am and what I've been,
I'm singing the same lullaby,
that keeps me awake and alive.

tomorrow will be different,
today will be good,
I've faced my fears,
I'll drown the tears.

the plane is heading south,
I'm heading up,
I'll see you there,
and I'll break the stares.

my heart is drumming,
i can't seem to stop,
tell me you're not leaving,
and I'll leave before you drop.

securing the veins of my heart,
it might fall off while i fly away,
you stare at the door,no way to stop me before i go.
i closed my eyes, before the tears fall off.


he said I won the battle but I lost the war.
where will i go, when you are the one i came to win for?

I HAD TO.

gazing out the jetblack sky, counting the tidbits of grace with one eye

i laughed at my sanity.

counseled my stupidity.

at the back of my mind, i smiled i knew i need not care what others think of me,
i lift my heart when i get so weak, and nothing else mattered.

i occupied a four-cornered room, trying every corner for comfort, checking for flaws.

i opened the windows

and


i lay, at the floor, matted.

i sang a good song, of lovers lullabies.

and pearls started dripping.

i knew i had it, and i cant keep it still in my hands, my arms grew weak with pulling it in.

i knew i had to let it go, to set it free, though it never asked for its liberty.

i cant.

im merely human and my capacity has limits, i am not strong enough.

when i opened my hands, i turned my back.

and slowly walked away.

unaware of my wanting, he went right on.

i wanted to be held, to be secured with strong arms, and be loved.

a natural longing for a human.

for a woman.

gazing now, at the blankness.

cold winds grazed every part of my skin,

kissing it gently leaving traces of wetness.

i chilled,

but i didn't move a single muscle.

i had to hold myself, to stay still, cause if i lose one grip,

i might breakdown.

i might lose it.

i might lose myself.

take me to one place i knew not of.

i closed my eyes.

and started dreaming once more.