damnation.

it defines ones character, a solidifying work of art.
no one has died in its realm though ignorance has taken its fee.
i remained in silence as i took out my last plunge in the deep waters of the cavern which leads every soul to its murky threshold.

i glanced, and saw no light in the eyes of the sufferer.
and for once i found myself blameworthy of the grief.

one last shot i told myself.
this time with another martyr.

and then it dawned me,

i felt blood ringing through my ears and heard myself praying.
and i come to know that i haven't closed the walls entirely.
it has been months and months have i been in seclusion.

my truth my character my standing at stake.
i cared not with the thought.
i know in my own discernment i have to take a leap.

i dwell not in the eyes of the weak, i despise their kind.
cause though my strength is failing, i never dropped my guard, in the eyes of the world i am defenseless, in my eyes i am victorious for they did not see who really won. when the battle has just begun, i have completed the riddle.

running along the sweet side walkway, they heed not the warning bells,
though they've been cautioned, they took a sip and learned its taste,
ran ahead and fell towards the unfathomable stream of desire and pain.
no one won yet one remained. and it wasn't them. it was her.

she was the instigator, though she may be otherwise.


the book was published no one to protest.

the life which was given was sown, the words which was thrown, had grown.

if things could be undone it would've been long ago before the world came to chaos, but it couldn't and all we could do is accept who the people in our lives have become.
its a mystery. a line of defense of the ill-mannered.


i am going to reveal the truth behind the deceitfulness.

i am fascinated with a gent,
one i have no intentions to trip over with.
when the flesh met the flesh.
it struck me.

i closed my eyes for the first time, this first time i hoped against hope and ached.
i have revealed myself, in front of my wanted enemy and i couldn't help but be reminded that i for one have no reason to bestow the life or love or anything that conjures emotions way to demanding.
the results have given me my hope. a way to escape a lifetime pattern, of disillusionment.
i am estranged.
deranged.
lost in the woods.
i am my own servant.
no one to tell me to bow down before a god that doesn't have power to will itself.


closed.
damned for eternity.